So, here I am on February 28th, at a friend’s place, just chilling out and I get the sneaking suspicion that my time in this apartment is almost up. Possibly because of the fact that I haven’t gone home in about 3 weeks. I am having trouble getting back on my feet, mentally. After the breakup, over the holidays, I have been on a few dates with some really sexy women but I manage to ruin it somehow. Either I’m over anxious or I assume that, with a week or two of not seeing each other, we could jump right back into what the feelings were when we first met. Usually, I know what to do in certain situations with these women and I do it very expertly but I have gotten to a point where my confidence is low. Having this girl leave me was the one thing that I never thought would happen. I was strong within the relationship, I had the confidence to lead. But now, I’m just not sure how to approach anything. It reminds me of something I saw on one of those “prison” shows. You spend so much time living your life in jail that you don’t understand how to cope when you’re back in the real world. Everything is so different. I’m not trying to say that the relationship was jail but the environments are so different.
I know that it was fairly recent but I wish I could speed up this process to feeling better. I just know that I couldn’t hurt someone like that. I’m trying so hard but I don’t know what it is I’m trying to do. I’m gonna fight. I’m gonna fight. I have to remember all of the advice that I’ve gotten and use it. I just need to sustain this positive thinking.