Inner

I have issues that need resolving. I feel like we all do. I, though, tend to go on with my life and avoid them, hoping that the happiness that I seek in the different areas that I am searching will make the questions disappear but since that happiness that I am searching for isn’t immediately attainable, the questions are ever-present and the “knocking on the door” of my mind gets louder as I attempt to grasp at the goals that seem so far away. I need to realign my view on how I will achieve the “summit”. I need to stop and turn around. Look inward and face the issues. Not be afraid of going back there. If I can solve that, I can achieve anything…But where do I start? There are so many. The jail is getting to be too small.

Certain people tend to over-think and ruin decisions that are simple. In time they will learn, I hope. Doesn’t really matter what you’ve read or how good your grades are. In my mind, real understanding starts at the center. I learned a while ago that I shouldn’t take stock in the way people view me, it’s just not something that I want to give strength. Positive or negative. It’s hard though because certain things trigger reactions. My lack of emotional reaction towards certain things that people say or do to me cause them to question my interest in them or the things they say. Try not to think so hard. Look at my actions as a whole and evaluate those. The complete series of interactions between you and I. Just because I don’t react with the face you expect, doesn’t mean that I am not feeling. I feel. It’s just hard to show sometimes. You’ll learn…

Stephan

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