Give and take

I try to be as positive as I can be, while I write entries on the blog because I don’t want this to be a place where negativity thrives. There’s enough of that in the world. However, every now and again, I have to address some things that really annoy me.

I’m really frustrated with folks that are incapable of looking at things from different perspectives. We live in a multiverse, people. The possibilities are endless and, as such, shouldn’t it almost be a prerequisite for us to be open to seeing things from different angles in order to understand the opinions of others? I’m speaking about the tolerant, here. Not the folks that are filled with hate. Those folks can kick rocks. But if I approach you with a certain view on things, shouldn’t you attempt to understand that view, combine it with your own views and then make an assessment based on that? Too often, I feel as though I’m trying to understand where someone else is coming from, but when I open my mouth to give my perspective, my initial thoughts sparsed with those of the person that I am engaging, I’m either interrupted in my train of thought or the person refuses to acknowledge my thought process and continues to bludgeon me to the head with basic rhetoric of an under-evolved way of thinking.

I ain’t perfect. Far from it. But I always try to understand situations from both sides so that I am not slighting the person that I am in discourse with. Do I always succeed? Of course not, but the attempt is there and that is all I am asking for. We have the capacity to empathize and I feel that when we don’t get what we want, we start to throw adult versions of tantrums. Unappealing. I know that, in writing this, nothing will change. I’ll wake up tomorrow and I’ll possibly encounter the same exact situation. I just feel as though it isn’t that we’re incapable, it’s that we’re not trying and that is the saddest part of this situation, for me. You’re not trying to see where I’m coming from. You’re just intent on establishing what you want me to see, so there is no possibility of common ground. All there is, is your point of view. This, I cannot stand for. Because I also feel that, a lot of times, this mentality is a selective one. In certain situations, you will allow for there to be an alternate way of thinking but in other, less favorable situations, that option is off of the table. I’m sick and tired of being made to feel as though I am some kind of oddball because you cannot extend yourself to a different train of thought. And if there is something on your mind, that is causing you to think in the way that you are currently thinking, then express it or do not engage. These, to me, are basic principles that seem to have been lost. But how? How is it possible to lose this, or to even not know this? There is too much information available to us to be having these issues, at this point in our planet’s evolution.

 

I can probably go on forever, on this subject, but I believe that I have made my point. Try to be conscientious, because that has a lot to do with what I have been speaking about. We can all express properly if we all use our brains and make a bit of an effort. For each other.

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Stop. Chill. Relax.

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I, sometimes, think that we, as guys, need to chill. I won’t exclude myself from this. I have the opportunity to be in the vicinity of both sexes during my day-to-day and I will admit that Montreal has extremely beautiful women, but there needs to be some perspective acquired, and parameters established, here. I make it a habit to be aware of my surroundings, as much as I can be. In doing so, one of my favorite things to do is to spot an attractive person (Male or female) and observe the reactions of the people walking towards or driving past them. I do that because I find it interesting to see how little some folks can control themselves. I won’t speak too much on how women respond to seeing a handsome man, in this particular entry. I will talk about us. The men.

There is very rarely any acceptable reason for a man to ogle a woman as she enters his field of view, and then to maintain that unfortunate display until well after she exits it. I find that offensive and extremely unnecessary. No one has ever said that it is wrong to acknowledge the presence of someone that you believe is aesthetically pleasing, to you, but there have to be clear lines drawn. Too often, what I see us doing makes me just plain uncomfortable. And that’s just me, not even being really close to the situation. I simply couldn’t deal with that nonsense, if I were a woman. A friend of mine told me that, once, while she was in the train, a man pressed up against her from behind and refused to move, even though there was reasonably enough space for him to so. When I first heard that, I remembered being mortified. She continued on to say that she never yelled or screamed out because she was afraid of what might happen to her, at his hands. Very few men, again including myself, have ever had to think in that way which, I believe is a big part of why these types of behavioral patterns still exist. Some of us are truly hypocritical, in that sense. I hear, see, and generally experience men being overly protective of their sisters, mothers, and daughters, but as soon as the context has been modified, some of those morals, with regards to the “object of our infatuation”, are more loose and we, a lot of times, begin to objectify in ways that they would never condone. To be fair, a lot of these situations occur whilst the individual is completely unaware of his actions but, then again, other times, we’re in our right minds.Regardless, I still hold us accountable because I believe that it is imperative that we use our intellects at full capacity when these circumstances present themselves. These women are our friends, our co-workers, the people that, when interwoven within the fabric of our lives, make the tapestry that much richer. We need to remind ourselves of this. Always. My rule is this: If you see a beautiful person walking up to you, and you didn’t have to courage to say something to that person while they are in or around your milieu, forget it. Move on. Don’t stay there, gawking at them, as if you’re trying to undress them with your drool.

I know for a fact that I wouldn’t want any guy doing that to my mom. I know for a fact that I wouldn’t want anyone doing that to my sister. So I make it a point not to do that to any woman. I am aware that there are bigger things happening in the world, but I believe that, in continuing to be respectful in that way, I am making it easier for someone. At the very least. I have made my fair share of mistakes, with women. Whether it was saying something that shouldn’t have been said, or otherwise, I believe that I have been, and will continue to be, genuine in my attempts at atonement. This entry was not written with the intent to bash all men, because “all men” don’t do what I have been writing about. But a lot of us do and I just felt that I should present my thoughts on the subject. To all the respectful men, out there, I salute you.