Mental – 2

The universe has been speaking to me for quite some time now. I’ve always been careful to listen as closely as possible, ever since I was a kid. Observing people, in their element, always gave me a sense of enjoyment and, a lot of times, those people would take the time to talk to me and drop little jewels that I felt obligated to scrutinize. To me, it was the universe’s way of directing me onto the right path. Now, I feel like everything is coming full circle. Balance is required, though. Leaning too far in a certain direction will create unnecessary problems and I am well aware that I have those tendencies.

 

What do I do, then, to keep all of the aspects of my life in a semblance of active harmony? Meditation. I don’t meditate in the popular sense (cross-legged, seated posture). In fact, meditation appears in various forms, if you ask me. I remember being in the gym, a few years ago, running on the treadmill, and totally forgetting that my body was actually moving. I had gone somewhere else, within myself. It was as though my body had taken on an internal navigation system. Maybe, for you, it’s in writing words in a book or taking a walk. Maybe painting is the move. I know that for me, I have yoga, writing, chess, and generally being contemplative, among other things. It renews my energy. I’ve also been learning to reduce my output. It’s really important for me not to overextend myself. I have a certain belief in myself, as well as a certain level of dedication that I offer to everything that I give attention to, and in order for me to maintain those levels that I have cultivated, I need to reduce my societal output, at times.

 

This is knowledge that I am grateful that I have had the clarity to acquire and that I hope to use properly, as time goes along. After all, I believe that it is extremely important to have an outlet to, not only exert yourself, but to be able to retreat inward at times. I took the time to evaluate myself, during difficult times and to see what I needed, in order to slowly begin the march back to stable ways. The dark days aren’t over. In fact, I believe that there will never be a day when those clouds dissipate, but I am learning how to manage the different aspects of my personality in order to be more efficient in the projects that I undertake. There are great things coming. Great, great things that I am working on, for the blog. And the vlog. I just want people to understand that I am doing this for me, first and foremost. However, I’m so glad that so many folks check for me, every day, by coming on the blog. I won’t let you down. I’m just in a good mental space, man. So, I’ve got to ride this bitch ’til the casket drop.

 

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Canal Deux Pt.2

This part of what Milton and I filmed is much more introspective than the first iteration. My description of this video won’t be as long as the first part because I believe that the recording explains any and everything that I would need anyone to understand. Enjoy.

 

Canal Deux

Milton and I have been estranged from doing “blog things” together. It’s been a while. A few years to be more precise. In that time, we’ve both grown a lot, as men, and been on numerous personal adventures. I simply figured that we could get back to kickin’ it, the way that we used to do, while also giving you all something new, in the process. Since I have been writing a fair bit, in the past few months, and posting some of what I write onto the blog, I thought that it would be cool to read something straight from my journal, in the video that we released. The issue that I had, in doing so, was that I didn’t decide what I was going to read until we started filming and there were specific names in my journal entry that I had to try to avoid using, out of respect for those people. So if the final product doesn’t make much sense to you, I apologize. It was also a bit windy, at the beginning, and so if that’s too much for you, I apologize for that, as well. What was nice about the entire thing was the fact that Milton sort of blindsided me with the questions that he asked. I answered some questions about “Le Chiffre” and “Francois Toulour” and what they mean to me, on my life’s journey. We also talked about the origins of the blog and the reason that I feel more comfortable writing these things out, rather than expressing it in other ways. Milton doesn’t usually do those types of things but it was nice to see him delve a bit deeper. After we decided to stop filming, we had the deepest conversation that, I think, we’ve ever had. It was a very introspective moment for the two of us and I got into some things that have bothered me, recently. It was supposed to have been recorded but, alas, it didn’t turn out that way. Maybe it was for the best. Milton is one of the very few people that I consider a real friend and I vouch for him. It’s great to see him doing well and going forward.

I hope that you guys like what we did.

Love,

Frankie.

 

Fear not failure

Is it really a failure that you’ve experienced? Are you looking at this objectively or are you judging the situation solely based on what you see right in front of you? Have you ever heard of the saying “Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see”?  I think that we should modify that saying, for it to be a bit more accurate: “Believe none of what you hear and half of what you discern.”. That feels better, to me. See, the thing is that, while I was growing up, I was taught that if I wanted something badly enough and I worked hard to obtain that thing, and still didn’t get it, then I had ultimately failed in my quest. Which is…meh…it just never sat well, with me. That notion is the part that I feel that many of us have not learned . The part where you learn from your attempt and you refine your effort, in order to get a bit further on the next try, or  even to succeed. There are so many things to look at, when you are finished with an attempt and I feel that we tend to overlook where we’ve ACTUALLY gotten because we are, generally, so focused on a perceived result. We lament a perceived failure. That’s not the right angle to look from. You’ve learned something. Look for what you’ve learned. Because, regardless of if you feel that you’ve succeeded or not, you have made the path a bit clearer due to your endeavour. Break it down and find the gift that was left for you. There IS something there. There always is. I know of people who are paralyzed by the fear of failing so, for that reason, they don’t even try, which is a sort of death, in and of itself. I’ve never understood that way of thinking but it isn’t for me to understand. I just have to do the best that I can, to continue giving maximum effort to any and everything that I give my time to. There’s no other way around it. To not get too down if I don’t immediately get what I want and to understand that there is a message in the attempt which, if properly deciphered, will help me get to the place where I am ultimately supposed to end up . It’s a concept. The one that I choose to live by. No doubt that there are hundreds of millions of different notions. I would simply like you to know that, in my mind,  there’s no such thing as “failure”. It’s just an ascension to enlightenment. Now, go try.

Recondite

I’m focused, lately. I talk about balance and about how much I know that it is important but, when you’re an extremist, do you truly have the ability to comprehend the premise of that notion? Regardless, I have hopped onto the track that I was always, sort of, supposed to have been on, according to certain folks. I’m here to demonstrate the growth that is unavoidable. Not to brag. To be completely honest, I don’t recognize this person that I am, right now. I don’t know this guy. I’ve never been this guy. I knew that I could do the things that I’m doing now, but I wasn’t really sure when I would get here. It’s an interesting observation. For a long time, I’ve felt like the guy in a standstill, while the world kept flying by me. There was a time when I felt a bit anxious, to get going, but I had realized that my time would come. Is that time right now? I don’t really know. I just know that whatever “this” is, it must be cared for. Nurtured. Delicately. It may be the start of something or it could be the peak of something. Either way, I have to be smart about how I approach things, from now on. Recently, I’ve been isolating my mind, far away from all of the outside noise that might distract me from doing everything that I want to do. Writing, growing my plants, riding around the city, these are all things that are helping me to center my mind. I, sometimes, wonder how centered I can get myself. In my mind, there are two dueling trains of thought. On the one hand, I am proud of where I have allowed my mind to go, and the focus that I have been demonstrating, despite the other emotional issues that have been occupying most of my focus, for quite some time now. On the other hand, I am aware that my current focus represents but a grain of sand in the desert. I believe that one of my greatest strengths is my inability to see the ceilings to my possibilities. With that being said, I know that I can focus harder and I know that I can block out the noise, to a greater degree than I currently am. I’m not going to try too hard to understand what exactly is happening. I’m simply going to ride the wave. Cultivating my feelings and making sure that I make the most of the situation at hand.