Stop. Chill. Relax.

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I, sometimes, think that we, as guys, need to chill. I won’t exclude myself from this. I have the opportunity to be in the vicinity of both sexes during my day-to-day and I will admit that Montreal has extremely beautiful women, but there needs to be some perspective acquired, and parameters established, here. I make it a habit to be aware of my surroundings, as much as I can be. In doing so, one of my favorite things to do is to spot an attractive person (Male or female) and observe the reactions of the people walking towards or driving past them. I do that because I find it interesting to see how little some folks can control themselves. I won’t speak too much on how women respond to seeing a handsome man, in this particular entry. I will talk about us. The men.

There is very rarely any acceptable reason for a man to ogle a woman as she enters his field of view, and then to maintain that unfortunate display until well after she exits it. I find that offensive and extremely unnecessary. No one has ever said that it is wrong to acknowledge the presence of someone that you believe is aesthetically pleasing, to you, but there have to be clear lines drawn. Too often, what I see us doing makes me just plain uncomfortable. And that’s just me, not even being really close to the situation. I simply couldn’t deal with that nonsense, if I were a woman. A friend of mine told me that, once, while she was in the train, a man pressed up against her from behind and refused to move, even though there was reasonably enough space for him to so. When I first heard that, I remembered being mortified. She continued on to say that she never yelled or screamed out because she was afraid of what might happen to her, at his hands. Very few men, again including myself, have ever had to think in that way which, I believe is a big part of why these types of behavioral patterns still exist. Some of us are truly hypocritical, in that sense. I hear, see, and generally experience men being overly protective of their sisters, mothers, and daughters, but as soon as the context has been modified, some of those morals, with regards to the “object of our infatuation”, are more loose and we, a lot of times, begin to objectify in ways that they would never condone. To be fair, a lot of these situations occur whilst the individual is completely unaware of his actions but, then again, other times, we’re in our right minds.Regardless, I still hold us accountable because I believe that it is imperative that we use our intellects at full capacity when these circumstances present themselves. These women are our friends, our co-workers, the people that, when interwoven within the fabric of our lives, make the tapestry that much richer. We need to remind ourselves of this. Always. My rule is this: If you see a beautiful person walking up to you, and you didn’t have to courage to say something to that person while they are in or around your milieu, forget it. Move on. Don’t stay there, gawking at them, as if you’re trying to undress them with your drool.

I know for a fact that I wouldn’t want any guy doing that to my mom. I know for a fact that I wouldn’t want anyone doing that to my sister. So I make it a point not to do that to any woman. I am aware that there are bigger things happening in the world, but I believe that, in continuing to be respectful in that way, I am making it easier for someone. At the very least. I have made my fair share of mistakes, with women. Whether it was saying something that shouldn’t have been said, or otherwise, I believe that I have been, and will continue to be, genuine in my attempts at atonement. This entry was not written with the intent to bash all men, because “all men” don’t do what I have been writing about. But a lot of us do and I just felt that I should present my thoughts on the subject. To all the respectful men, out there, I salute you.

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Mental

I would like to talk about something serious, for a minute. Our mental health. How often do we work on strengthening it? I’ll readily tell you that I thought that I did work on it but I’ve come to realize that the time invested has been minimal. I’ve been through a few things that really tested my ability to move forward and I’ve had to truly get in touch with myself and work. Not on how I was going to get out of the situation that was bearing down on me, but on how I was going to strengthen my mind in order to deal with the situation at hand. I feel that the only prevalent mentions of mental health revolve around sports and concussions therein and  there are very little mentions about it for every day citizens living in this world of increased pressure to succeed and a severe stagnation of necessary outlets to help us cope with our every day issues.

I was speaking to a friend, this weekend, and I could see that she’s worked very hard on that aspect of her life. Looking into her eyes, I could see that there was nothing this world could throw at her that she wouldn’t be able to deal with. Strong…It was incredible to be looking that in the face. I don’t think that I have ever seen that in anyone before. She mentioned that, although she seems calm and collected on the exterior, she battles with her expectations and that she has to work on herself constantly in order to regain control of the issues she faces. And that’s when I realized it. I think. Now, disclaimer: You don’t have to believe this. This is my personal opinion.

It was incredible to be looking that in the face. I don’t think that I have ever seen that in anyone before.

I realized that there is a pattern between the amount of things that are thrown at us, on a daily basis, that distract us from working on ourselves. We are in a world where we are the most important commodities and, as such, companies spend millions of dollars, each year, to try to gain our attention through inventive ads, salacious pictures, and basically manufacturing a perceived need for what they are offering. We run after a lot of different things, and assume that we’re mentally strong and that we can deal with the obstacles that oppose our progression but I don’t think that our mental acuity is tested enough for us to really know what we are made of. We’re distracted by everything around us and if we can take the time to really learn about ourselves and strengthen our minds, we will realize that the power is within each of us. That it has been there the entire time and that we don’t need anything exterior to harness it. It starts with taking the time to do it, though. Instead of trying to look for the next thing to spend your money on, invest in yourself.