No rationale

Irrational confidence is a very dangerous thing to possess. It is also, in many cases of overachieving in the bubble, a necessity. It will always be something that I grapple with because I have been taught to be humble. My question to you is: Where does humility end and the refusal to recognize your own personal greatness begin? Just because I am proud of myself, for having accomplished something, that does not denote narcissism. Of course, if we’re talking about individuals that reflect on said greatness, with the sole purpose of reminding you that they have been exceedingly blessed…well…that’s just obnoxious, and I want no parts of that. But what are you supposed to do when someone acknowledges your greatness, poses that “confirmation-like” question, and you know in your heart that they are right? That question, oftentimes sounds like this: “Oh, so you’re really good at ____, aren’t you?”, and other variations of that observation. We’ve all heard it, and so I pose the following question: If you believe, in your heart, that they’re stating a fact, why can’t you confirm it? After all, we work very hard to obtain the knowledge that we, in turn, utilize to move our lives forward and on the off chance that someone feels the need to test our confidence, if we deem it an acceptable challenge, we should all be comfortable providing further proof of our claims. What says that we can’t be proud of the work that we have put in and, simply, recognize our efforts if we believe in them?

The first time I had ever heard of irrational confidence was while I watched a basketball game. I forget who was playing but I remember someone speaking about a specific player, and saying that “The irrational confidence that once made him a star is the same thing that will torpedo his career.”. I had never taken the time to grasp the concept of that possibility, before having heard what that individual said, but it immediately opened doors in my mind that would never again be closed. Ever since that moment, I have circled the idea of irrational confidence very carefully. I know that it can help me reach heights that I may never reach without it but I am, and will forever be, leery of it’s presence in my life. The scrutiny that I employ while maneuvering through life forces me to manifest a belief in myself that I possess against all of the odds that were placed in opposition of my path but, I often wonder, is it “irrational”? At this point, in my life, I understand exactly what I need to do. The only thing that I wonder is if I will be able to make it to the mountain top, before it’s all said and done. If you’ve never really thought that you would live a long life, it’s sort of difficult to envision a day when you might achieve everything that you now believe to be possible.

The confidence is there but the daily reminder, to accept the fact that I have a small window to do what needs to be done, is always at the forefront of my mind. No complacency, for me. The last thing I want is to be oblivious to the fact that I may possibly be weighing myself down with the very hubris that allowed me to excel. I grew up needing to make sure that I was able to identify any and all modifications that were necessary to my progression. That has not changed. In truth, I have gotten better at identifying the things that need to change around me, and inside of me. This clarity doesn’t imply that I have been successful in doing so, simply that I have become more aware . Adjustments are just a part of the progression and I am not shy about adaptation. Getting carried away, and believing that this ride will last forever is, simply put, a fallacy. The difficulty, I believe, in the subject that I am speaking of, is in ceding your position because your time is up. Who truly ever believes that they have, plainly, run out of time? Yes, we are taught that “Nothing lasts forever” ; however, when are we taught to cede power? Gracefully step aside? I feel that those lessons are just as valuable as learning how to  grasp control. I also believe that our lack of understanding, for the latter, creates the illusion of being able to retain the former.

I rang in 2019 by meditating. I ran through each and every single moment that I could remember and gave respect to each of them. I spent about an hour doing that and I have to admit that I could have, probably, spent more time in deep contemplation. In doing what I did, I sometimes feel as though I’m still meditating. It’s like I set my clock to a certain time and now I’m living my life, following that time. Nevertheless, life feels different now. The confidence that I feel can only be described as “sunlight”. I have more control of myself, in the deepest of senses, and I am increasing my self-comprehension with the more that I learn about the person that I am becoming. I know what I need to do, in order to be the person that I am needed to become. Do I really need to be irrationally confident, to become that person? Who knows? Will it help me achieve my goals? Or will it tear me down because I’ve taken it too far?

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Ante Meridiem Thoughts

I try to maintain a certain level of confidence in myself, at all times. I will admit that it is not always the easiest thing to do but I wake up, every morning, and believe in myself. From that point, it’s time to hit the streets and envelope myself in that energy. So, with that being said, what do you believe that you exude? And why do you believe that you exude it? I can tell you why I go around town with that mentality, in my back pocket. There was a time, in my life, when I used to seek validation from different places/people and I would extend (sometimes overextend) myself in order to obtain what I thought that I needed. As I grew to be older, I became upset with those same people, through whom I had sought that very same validation, because I felt like they were aware that I was looking for it in the wrong places and they chose to not steer me into the right direction. I thought that they were arrogant in that. Not realizing that the true arrogance was being actualized by yours truly. It took me a while to get to this place. The place of accountability. I cannot expect anything from anyone, if I don’t let them know that I need it and, as for any sort of validation, everything that I need is within me. Nothing that I do is done because of you. It is about how I feel about it. You may believe that saying this is selfish, and it is, I guess, but I can’t think for anyone other than myself and if I were to continue to seek for others to substantiate my inner strength, I would leave myself open to the possibility of dishonesty to be projected in my direction due to the fact that, unfortunately, some folks do not have your best interests at heart. With anything that you do, you’ve GOT to believe that you can do it. Belief, I have come to realize, is an EXTREMELY rare occurrence. Few veritably believe, whole-heartedly, in what they do/say. This is why I believe that it is truly important to be able to read what is right in front of you, and to utilize all of the tools at your disposal, namely your intuition. This is also why I believe that there is such a large discrepancy between the amount of success and failure, on every level. Now, this isn’t to say that many people don’t actually want to achieve success. I think that everyone wants that. It just comes down to a simple question: “Do you truly believe that you can attain it?”. When you believe, without a shadow of a doubt, success will happen. It is only when you offer up the possibility of failure that you encounter those things that will, potentially, derail you from your quest. I feel the need to be a bit more specific, with my theory. The singular thought of potential failure, rearing it’s ugly head, does not spell the end of your attempt, but you have to extricate those considerations by overwhelming them with belief. Your fears simply cannot be allowed to grow. Your day-to-day will always present you with a challenge (or two) that you may not have been prepared for, challenges that will threaten to undermine the mental state that you have been cultivating, so don’t be surprised when those moments appear. Build a solid base of confidence, and know that you will be able to deal with whatever it is. This is just how I think, every day, and I will stand behind these statements, if necessary. Ain’t nobody gonna look me in my eyes, and tell me that I can’t do something, and have me believing that shit. Never in your life. You’re welcomed to try, though.

Foreigner Exchange – Episode 3 Part 2 (Eric Tschaeppeler)

Here’s the second part of the interview with Eric. I’m truly glad that I started this segment. It’s fulfilling to be able to lock in with someone and go back and forth, all while having a genuine mutual respect. To hear their thoughts, passions, ideas, and stories, keeps me believing in exactly what this entire ideology was born of; The belief that we are all great. That we are all able to do GREAT things. What exactly those great things are, I will let you figure out for yourself but I know what I have in mind and it, assuredly, isn’t going to plateau with Foreigner Exchange. It isn’t going to peak with The Nightfox Blog.

I’m just getting started.

 

 

Get familiar with some of Eric’s work:

http://erictschaeppeler.com/KITCHEN-STAFF

http://erictschaeppeler.com/KITCHEN-STAFF-Colour

http://erictschaeppeler.com/IT-TAKES-A-VILLAGE

http://erictschaeppeler.com/EASTERN-EUROPEAN-MEMORIES

Canal Deux Pt.2

This part of what Milton and I filmed is much more introspective than the first iteration. My description of this video won’t be as long as the first part because I believe that the recording explains any and everything that I would need anyone to understand. Enjoy.

 

H.i.m.

Press play

Daniel Caesar Feat. H.E.R. – Best Part

 

Hey… is this a bad time?

Not much. I’m sitting here wondering what you’re up to…How are you?

Oh, Okay. Cool. That’s good.

Me? Aww man, I’m okay. You know, just trying to navigate this world that we’re living in.

Haha, yea. That’s true.

The funny thing is that I just finished saying that I’m trying to navigate “this world that we’re living in”, but the premise of my statement is oxymoronic, by nature, since the world is unique to each and everyone living in it…Whatever, you know what I meant.

Haha, alright, alright. I get it. I’m a nerd. I guess that I deserved that.

Anyway, I know that I don’t normally call you, but I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. I thought about, maybe, not acting on it but it had been on my mind, more and more, in the last few weeks so, you know…I just…did it.

Ah, you’re welcome. I’m happy that it could make you smile.

They’re all doing well. Everyone had a pretty eventful summer. You know how my mom is. Always out and about. How’s everyone on your end?

Ha ha. Of course he would do something like that. That man is too funny.

So, there was a bit more to this call than just wondering about you.

Yea, I figured that you would have been aware of that. Haha, not the most subtle guy in the world, I guess.

I mean…I miss you, a lil bit.

Nah, nah. I’m not trying to convince you of anything like that. We are who we are, now. I just know that I enjoy your company and that I would like to see you sometime.

Wow, really? I’m so glad that you feel that way. I was so nervous about saying that, to you. Hahaha. Oh man!

How come you never reached out, though?

Hmm. Okay. Well, it doesn’t matter. I’m just relieved that you feel that way.

Great. So when are you free? Maybe we can go for dinner.

Yea, as friends. Of cour…what?

You…met someone…

Oh…

Because, well, when I said that I missed you, you said that you…

Oh.

Right…

Do you really like him? (Nervous laugh) Stupid question, I guess, but, I just…I dunno.

Oh…

Okay.

Yea…yea…maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s not a good time.

Yea….I’m sorry too…

Bye……………………………………….