Reaching out

I hope that this reaches you well. I think of you every so often and I wonder where we went so wrong. It all seemed to be following a certain timeline. A certain path. We fought about things, from time to time, but you know that these things happen. I guess that we were simply speaking two different languages. I truly believe that. It’s a shame. Lives are changing all around us. People are getting married, having babies and I felt that we were on our way there, but then came the abruptness of the halt. It stunned me. The truth is that I had your back, through it all. I had wished that there would have been some way for you to have understood exactly what I am. I allowed you in. Gave you access  to seeing it, but I don’t think that you understood it, realized it, or even really cared. You can’t make people care about anything that they don’t want to care about, and I chose not to force the issue by maintaining a presence in your life. Maybe, at some point, you’ll see what I was trying to show you. Hindsight is always 20/20. Isn’t that what they say? But the clouds have dissipated, and my ceiling has been elevated, yet again. I am on a mission. I am making attempts to align my instinct and my mind, every day. I am one of the ones. You know that I am. I know it, too. Now. I hoped that you would be more than a page in the story but you chose to be just that. It’s a long book, though. and everyone loves a plot twist.

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Are you that somebody?

Love. What is that? What does it even mean? I, personally, don’t know. There are explanations that have been given to describe it’s purpose but it seems that every single person has their own interpretation of it. If that’s the case, is it fair that we judge how any of us dances with this fire? Is what I think love to be, in fact some lesser form of affection? And if so, will I ever be able to reach a point where “love”, real love, is attainable? When I think of love, I think of an aurora borealis. I see a haze of colors in different forms. A stained sky. I believe that it is all we have. No matter what side we end up being on, good or evil, I think that we’re constantly reaching for it. Within ourselves or from others. You choose.

will I ever be able to reach a point where “love”, real love, is attainable?

Recently, I have been thinking about the concept of finding that “one person that is meant for each us” and I don’t know if that makes sense to me. You mean to tell me that there is ONE person, on this Earth, that is meant to be with me and only me? Does that mean that the other relationships are doomed to fail until I meet that ONE person? What if I already met her and she’s with someone else who treats her well and is deserving of her love. Am I then just late to the party? Pfff, some party.

I am writing this for all of the people that are out there living life, expecting that, at some point, they will meet that one person that will make their days even more complete than they already are. That person that makes them realize that there is an angle to the world that they never perceived. That colors could be brighter and fuller than they were aware of. I hope that you find that person. The incredible thing is that this person could be of any creed, color, religion, etc… They could be halfway around the world or they can be walking past you, during your work hours. I pray that you are not late to that party. It is inherently possible that, if you DO actually end up missing out on that individual by the slightest of margins, you can meet someone else that opens your world in a similar or altogether different way and makes you endlessly happy, but who knows? Life is funny in that way. The best that you can do is to put yourself in a position to succeed. The rest is not up to you. With any luck, your colors will brighten through the love that you have for yourself and the joy that your other has blessed you with.

Biha