Milton and I have been estranged from doing “blog things” together. It’s been a while. A few years to be more precise. In that time, we’ve both grown a lot, as men, and been on numerous personal adventures. I simply figured that we could get back to kickin’ it, the way that we used to do, while also giving you all something new, in the process. Since I have been writing a fair bit, in the past few months, and posting some of what I write onto the blog, I thought that it would be cool to read something straight from my journal, in the video that we released. The issue that I had, in doing so, was that I didn’t decide what I was going to read until we started filming and there were specific names in my journal entry that I had to try to avoid using, out of respect for those people. So if the final product doesn’t make much sense to you, I apologize. It was also a bit windy, at the beginning, and so if that’s too much for you, I apologize for that, as well. What was nice about the entire thing was the fact that Milton sort of blindsided me with the questions that he asked. I answered some questions about “Le Chiffre” and “Francois Toulour” and what they mean to me, on my life’s journey. We also talked about the origins of the blog and the reason that I feel more comfortable writing these things out, rather than expressing it in other ways. Milton doesn’t usually do those types of things but it was nice to see him delve a bit deeper. After we decided to stop filming, we had the deepest conversation that, I think, we’ve ever had. It was a very introspective moment for the two of us and I got into some things that have bothered me, recently. It was supposed to have been recorded but, alas, it didn’t turn out that way. Maybe it was for the best. Milton is one of the very few people that I consider a real friend and I vouch for him. It’s great to see him doing well and going forward.
I’ve tended to look inward, a lot, over the past few years. The writing that I do, in that book, every day has been a major catalyst in the process. There is a lot of mental debris but I find ways to navigate and find the clearings. I was incapable of even thinking about a statement like that, a few years ago, but I am a new person today. I recently found out that Rocio got engaged. That’s huge. I saw it and I thought to myself “Oh shit!”…I searched inward for the rest of the emotions that surely were trailing right behind, but there was nothing. No anger, no jealousy, not an ounce of resentment. I’m happy for her and for that guy. I really hope that it works out. I asked my brother about his past relationships, namely one in particular, and I wanted to know if he still thinks about them. He does. Everyone does, to an extent. I do too, but it’s changed. I used to have this nostalgia about what was. Stuck in the self-created euphoria of my past love, all the while ignoring the fact that there are always two sides to a coin…It wasn’t always love. There was a lot of hate. A lot of negativity. A lot of pointless situations that we could have both done without. Overreactions from both sides. If all of that is taken into context, then I get to where I am now, which is content with the result. Plus, I am in such a better situation that it’s ridiculous. When that whole thing ended, I was really down because I was not able to get closure on it, in a way that I felt comfortable with. It was refused, to me. It haunted me for years. I am no longer in need of any validation from that situation or that time in my life. I am ready to lift-off. I have done my penance.To myself. And now, I am done with that.I told myself over and over that I wouldn’t allow that situation to define who I am as a person. It was the starting block to my story, for a while. I clung to it, as though the pain was somehow symbiotic, but no. No. This blog started on account of that part of my life but it was never meant to be sustained as such. I am ready to take a transformational step. I thought that I was ready for a while but I was not. My heart and mind are lighter, these days. Other hardships are coming, let’s not act like they aren’t. The positive in that? I can now have a much clearer head, to take on those coming issues. Whatever they are. Stephan is here. And the fire burns fierce.
This took a while for me to put out because I had plans on how to end it that I just couldn’t manifest. I hope that it’s good enough for anyone that decides to watch it. I have a special place in my being for this jacket because everything on there signifies a turning point in my consciousness.
Someone asked me why I do these videos. Why I film the trips I take. I do it because I want to pass something on the others. Something positive. There are different worlds on this Earth, in my opinion. We live in only one of them but there are so many realities that I feel we aren’t exposed to so I always want to share some of that stuff. These are our trips abroad. Yea, I know, you weren’t ACTUALLY there but I go on these trips with all of you in mind. Because I want to make you smile when you see what I’m seeing. Or think when you hear what I’m hearing. You don’t have to physically leave your home to change your way of thinking. Not when you’re watching my vlogs. And if only one person gets that light bulb effect in their minds by tuning into my episodes, then I’ll have done what I set out to do. And who knows, maybe you’ll want to do vlogs or go a little deeper on your trips abroad and connect with the people you meet a little more. Whatever you wanna do, just go ahead and do it. Live on your terms. I guarantee that once you do, the smile you’ll have on the inside will make way for the smile on the outside. And it’ll never go away. Shout out to Stainless Photography!!
Life is really funny sometimes. It works on so many different levels and even though there are basic blueprints to certain kinds of success, there isn’t a fullproof way of making it anywhere. Some things that seem so full of promise, sometimes, yield little to no result and some things that you had absolutely no expectations for, end up being some of the best things you could have ever thought to do.
Ultimately though, no matter which of those choices you make, I think that you’ll be okay because you’ll have learned something that will help you going forward in life, within the effort, and despite how many times we hear people say it or we read about it, I think we have to experience that epiphany in order to REALLY “get it”. I get it. I think. That doesn’t mean that I’m on my way to being a global icon or some kind of spectacular failure, it just means that I’m okay going into the dark and seeing what I come out with, good or bad. Ideally, I would like only good things to happen to me but sometimes, bad things are just as good. Anyway, I’m not going to preach to you. I just wanted to say that.