Ante Meridiem Thoughts

I try to maintain a certain level of confidence in myself, at all times. I will admit that it is not always the easiest thing to do but I wake up, every morning, and believe in myself. From that point, it’s time to hit the streets and envelope myself in that energy. So, with that being said, what do you believe that you exude? And why do you believe that you exude it? I can tell you why I go around town with that mentality, in my back pocket. There was a time, in my life, when I used to seek validation from different places/people and I would extend (sometimes overextend) myself in order to obtain what I thought that I needed. As I grew to be older, I became upset with those same people, through whom I had sought that very same validation, because I felt like they were aware that I was looking for it in the wrong places and they chose to not steer me into the right direction. I thought that they were arrogant in that. Not realizing that the true arrogance was being actualized by yours truly. It took me a while to get to this place. The place of accountability. I cannot expect anything from anyone, if I don’t let them know that I need it and, as for any sort of validation, everything that I need is within me. Nothing that I do is done because of you. It is about how I feel about it. You may believe that saying this is selfish, and it is, I guess, but I can’t think for anyone other than myself and if I were to continue to seek for others to substantiate my inner strength, I would leave myself open to the possibility of dishonesty to be projected in my direction due to the fact that, unfortunately, some folks do not have your best interests at heart. With anything that you do, you’ve GOT to believe that you can do it. Belief, I have come to realize, is an EXTREMELY rare occurrence. Few veritably believe, whole-heartedly, in what they do/say. This is why I believe that it is truly important to be able to read what is right in front of you, and to utilize all of the tools at your disposal, namely your intuition. This is also why I believe that there is such a large discrepancy between the amount of success and failure, on every level. Now, this isn’t to say that many people don’t actually want to achieve success. I think that everyone wants that. It just comes down to a simple question: “Do you truly believe that you can attain it?”. When you believe, without a shadow of a doubt, success will happen. It is only when you offer up the possibility of failure that you encounter those things that will, potentially, derail you from your quest. I feel the need to be a bit more specific, with my theory. The singular thought of potential failure, rearing it’s ugly head, does not spell the end of your attempt, but you have to extricate those considerations by overwhelming them with belief. Your fears simply cannot be allowed to grow. Your day-to-day will always present you with a challenge (or two) that you may not have been prepared for, challenges that will threaten to undermine the mental state that you have been cultivating, so don’t be surprised when those moments appear. Build a solid base of confidence, and know that you will be able to deal with whatever it is. This is just how I think, every day, and I will stand behind these statements, if necessary. Ain’t nobody gonna look me in my eyes, and tell me that I can’t do something, and have me believing that shit. Never in your life. You’re welcomed to try, though.

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Foreigner Exchange – Episode 3 Part 2 (Eric Tschaeppeler)

Here’s the second part of the interview with Eric. I’m truly glad that I started this segment. It’s fulfilling to be able to lock in with someone and go back and forth, all while having a genuine mutual respect. To hear their thoughts, passions, ideas, and stories, keeps me believing in exactly what this entire ideology was born of; The belief that we are all great. That we are all able to do GREAT things. What exactly those great things are, I will let you figure out for yourself but I know what I have in mind and it, assuredly, isn’t going to plateau with Foreigner Exchange. It isn’t going to peak with The Nightfox Blog.

I’m just getting started.

 

 

Get familiar with some of Eric’s work:

http://erictschaeppeler.com/KITCHEN-STAFF

http://erictschaeppeler.com/KITCHEN-STAFF-Colour

http://erictschaeppeler.com/IT-TAKES-A-VILLAGE

http://erictschaeppeler.com/EASTERN-EUROPEAN-MEMORIES

Samsara

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Learning to be alone is an arduous process. I say that because , for me, it’s a whole lot more than getting comfortable with the fact that no one will be at home to greet you. That, actually, has very little to do with anything. In my opinion learning to be alone is a never-ending journey of introspection and self-discovery. It’s about honing in on the person that you really are, beyond the societal requirements that force you to act in certain ways that probably weren’t instinctive, anyway. Being honest with yourself. Have you ever been asked this question:

Are you truly content with the person that you know yourself to be?

Think about how often you help without the expectation of a reward (and it can be any type of reward: A thank you, a smile, the last piece of a chocolate bar…Anything.) and tell me if you would maintain that strong desire to be helpful if those rewards weren’t a motivating factor. Those are the types of things that I have spent various moments pouring over. I spend a lot of time speaking to myself, discussing important topics, in order to really understand my stance on those very same subjects because I need to know why I think in the ways that I do. After all, how can I hope to properly convey my thoughts if I don’t get to the core of them? The molecular levels, so to speak, are the ones that interest me the most. Although I write, every day, my writing is not for that specific purpose. If that were to be the case, I would never have any substantial time to do anything else, because I would be hamstrung by my thoughts. The alone time that I have, now, serves those purposes as well as many others, within the realm of introspection.

 

There’s a lot of “inner cleaning” to do, if I can say so. I don’t think that I would ever openly discuss all of the things that need to be worked upon, with anyone that I know, but just know that I know what needs to be done. The next step is actually getting to a point where I actually start making those changes. In saying that, I don’t mean to imply that the changes will all be made on my own. No, no, no. I will definitely need to be assisted in getting to the place that I, ultimately, want to be. I believe in myself, though. I know that I can undertake difficult missions. And I am not afraid of doing so because the painful moments, that I know will forever be associated with facing the honest truths about about who I truly am, are things that I am comfortable accepting. The fear, for me, is in getting so comfortable being with myself that I don’t hesitate to keep it that way, and stop making efforts to socialize. This is a very, very, real possibility that I feel in my soul. On the other hand, maybe that is a momentary necessity in order for me to find some sort of enlightenment. And when I would feel that the time is right, I would reemerge as a new individual. Who knows?

So many questions, but the great thing is that I am opening to the answers. Regardless of how I will feel about them, afterwards. I, sometimes, have trouble allowing myself to celebrate small victories, but to have started this blog and to have written as much as I have, is something that I will enjoy for a little bit. I write simply to get my thoughts out. Be it wacky, emotional, or wayward, I do this as a release. I am no better, or worse than anyone, anywhere and I will maintain this stance for the rest of this life. I just enjoy this form of communicating and I am so glad that you guys/girls are on this journey with me. I haven’t always enjoyed being with myself, but those days are over. I look forward to seeing where I take it, from here.

Are you?

 

 

Mental – 2

The universe has been speaking to me for quite some time now. I’ve always been careful to listen as closely as possible, ever since I was a kid. Observing people, in their element, always gave me a sense of enjoyment and, a lot of times, those people would take the time to talk to me and drop little jewels that I felt obligated to scrutinize. To me, it was the universe’s way of directing me onto the right path. Now, I feel like everything is coming full circle. Balance is required, though. Leaning too far in a certain direction will create unnecessary problems and I am well aware that I have those tendencies.

 

What do I do, then, to keep all of the aspects of my life in a semblance of active harmony? Meditation. I don’t meditate in the popular sense (cross-legged, seated posture). In fact, meditation appears in various forms, if you ask me. I remember being in the gym, a few years ago, running on the treadmill, and totally forgetting that my body was actually moving. I had gone somewhere else, within myself. It was as though my body had taken on an internal navigation system. Maybe, for you, it’s in writing words in a book or taking a walk. Maybe painting is the move. I know that for me, I have yoga, writing, chess, and generally being contemplative, among other things. It renews my energy. I’ve also been learning to reduce my output. It’s really important for me not to overextend myself. I have a certain belief in myself, as well as a certain level of dedication that I offer to everything that I give attention to, and in order for me to maintain those levels that I have cultivated, I need to reduce my societal output, at times.

 

This is knowledge that I am grateful that I have had the clarity to acquire and that I hope to use properly, as time goes along. After all, I believe that it is extremely important to have an outlet to, not only exert yourself, but to be able to retreat inward at times. I took the time to evaluate myself, during difficult times and to see what I needed, in order to slowly begin the march back to stable ways. The dark days aren’t over. In fact, I believe that there will never be a day when those clouds dissipate, but I am learning how to manage the different aspects of my personality in order to be more efficient in the projects that I undertake. There are great things coming. Great, great things that I am working on, for the blog. And the vlog. I just want people to understand that I am doing this for me, first and foremost. However, I’m so glad that so many folks check for me, every day, by coming on the blog. I won’t let you down. I’m just in a good mental space, man. So, I’ve got to ride this bitch ’til the casket drop.