Thoughts in the ante

This life is a fight. That is what it has been for me and that is what it will always be. I say this, not because I feel that I have to establish anything for myself really, but because I feel that my family, past, present, and future deserve to simply live with a reduced level of stress. If that means that I will have to heap that stress unto my psyche, then so be it. I can handle it. They surely can as well but I don’t want them to. Now, anyone that knows me knows that I am not inherently a “family guy”. I’d more like to be in the background. Celebrate and rejoice in the fruits of your labor and the spoils that you have access to and just know that I am around, somewhere, supporting your ascent. I was not always like this. I used to like the attention of a moment in time but I have grown to be in love with this sort of anonymity. I guess that is where “The Nightfox” stuff comes from. If I could disappear…I would. It will happen at some point. I just hope that I have done enough good for the ripples to have been created and for them to carry on, through time. Love is all I want. In any and every form, for any and everyone. Because I know that the love you seek will cure you. The love that you’ve found is healing you, with every breath that you breathe. I can’t possibly change that or improve upon what you have found but if I could help you in any way possible, afford you a positive, happy experience, then that’s all there is. I could never be selfish about that, and ask for any more than that small morsel. This post may not flow as consistently as other, previous, posts but I am writing this at 5 in the ante, and so that may be the reason. Regardless, I think that you got the point that I was attempting to convey. Or maybe not. Stay up.

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Episode 2 (NYC) Part 3

Kat

This took a while for me to put out because I had plans on how to end it that I just couldn’t manifest. I hope that it’s good enough for anyone that decides to watch it. I have a special place in my being for this jacket because everything on there signifies a turning point in my consciousness.

Someone asked me why I do these videos. Why I film the trips I take. I do it because I want to pass something on the others. Something positive. There are different worlds on this Earth, in my opinion. We live in only one of them but there are so many realities that I feel we aren’t exposed to so I always want to share some of that stuff. These are our trips abroad. Yea, I know, you weren’t ACTUALLY there but I go on these trips with all of you in mind. Because I want to make you smile when you see what I’m seeing. Or think when you hear what I’m hearing. You don’t have to physically leave your home to change your way of thinking. Not when you’re watching my vlogs. And if only one person gets that light bulb effect in their minds by tuning into my episodes, then I’ll have done what I set out to do. And who knows, maybe you’ll want to do vlogs or go a little deeper on your trips abroad and connect with the people you meet a little more. Whatever you wanna do, just go ahead and do it. Live on your terms. I guarantee that once you do, the smile you’ll have on the inside will make way for the smile on the outside. And it’ll never go away. Shout out to Stainless Photography!!

The New York City Interlude Pt.2

This is the second video I have of “Ghetto Jedi”. This man was a great surprise after we were stumbling out of a Manhattan bar at about 3 in the morning. I couldn’t believe that an individual as enlightened as he, would be on the streets asking for money. He just walked up to me and asked if I could let him say some stuff for the camera and so I said sure. As you can imagine, I wasn’t really expecting anything like what he did and so I just feel like this man should be heard. Whether you like it or not, as long as you hear him, I feel like he got his point across. Ep.2 Pt.2 coming soon.

Episode 2 (NYC) Part 1

So I’m a bit late with the release of this episode. I apologize for that. Milton and I had a few more things to get done before I could feel 100% comfortable about releasing this first part to the public. This is a very personal episode for me and there are a lot of reasons for that.

A few words on the heart: That bandaged heart has defined me for a long time. It means so much to me because it shows me every day that although I am destructible, I am resilient and I will fight. It also helped me a lot to read the older posts that I wrote, in an attempt to cleanse myself of the anguish I felt. Seeing who I have become in that short span of time makes me really proud of who I am and eager to see who I will be.

Le Chiffre:That is a side to me that seldom gets seen. Methodical, quiet, calm, cerebral, I really enjoyed the character in the Bond movie and I saw a lot of myself in him. I plan to use the name in a good light though, no ill-intent. Hopefully, with time, my wardrobe will mirror his. That would be awesome.

I think I can easily say that this will probably be the most personal I will ever get for this blog, but I feel really good about being able to share this stuff. And the jacket…haha, that jacket is incredible. I have to thank Mike Sherman and Jack Greer at the Nike Bowery studio for doing an amazing job at bringing my ideas to life on a beautiful canvas.

Some folks have been telling me that I am so lucky to be doing what I have been doing in 2012 but to be honest, I am just doing what I want to do, there is no luck involved. Life doesn’t have to be a predetermined affair, the journey is everything to me and I am enjoying all of it. Like I mentioned earlier, this will be the last episode for a little while but there is still so much to come. I really hope that you like it. Power up 🙂