Mental – 2

The universe has been speaking to me for quite some time now. I’ve always been careful to listen as closely as possible, ever since I was a kid. Observing people, in their element, always gave me a sense of enjoyment and, a lot of times, those people would take the time to talk to me and drop little jewels that I felt obligated to scrutinize. To me, it was the universe’s way of directing me onto the right path. Now, I feel like everything is coming full circle. Balance is required, though. Leaning too far in a certain direction will create unnecessary problems and I am well aware that I have those tendencies.

 

What do I do, then, to keep all of the aspects of my life in a semblance of active harmony? Meditation. I don’t meditate in the popular sense (cross-legged, seated posture). In fact, meditation appears in various forms, if you ask me. I remember being in the gym, a few years ago, running on the treadmill, and totally forgetting that my body was actually moving. I had gone somewhere else, within myself. It was as though my body had taken on an internal navigation system. Maybe, for you, it’s in writing words in a book or taking a walk. Maybe painting is the move. I know that for me, I have yoga, writing, chess, and generally being contemplative, among other things. It renews my energy. I’ve also been learning to reduce my output. It’s really important for me not to overextend myself. I have a certain belief in myself, as well as a certain level of dedication that I offer to everything that I give attention to, and in order for me to maintain those levels that I have cultivated, I need to reduce my societal output, at times.

 

This is knowledge that I am grateful that I have had the clarity to acquire and that I hope to use properly, as time goes along. After all, I believe that it is extremely important to have an outlet to, not only exert yourself, but to be able to retreat inward at times. I took the time to evaluate myself, during difficult times and to see what I needed, in order to slowly begin the march back to stable ways. The dark days aren’t over. In fact, I believe that there will never be a day when those clouds dissipate, but I am learning how to manage the different aspects of my personality in order to be more efficient in the projects that I undertake. There are great things coming. Great, great things that I am working on, for the blog. And the vlog. I just want people to understand that I am doing this for me, first and foremost. However, I’m so glad that so many folks check for me, every day, by coming on the blog. I won’t let you down. I’m just in a good mental space, man. So, I’ve got to ride this bitch ’til the casket drop.

 

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Canal Deux Pt.2

This part of what Milton and I filmed is much more introspective than the first iteration. My description of this video won’t be as long as the first part because I believe that the recording explains any and everything that I would need anyone to understand. Enjoy.

 

Foreigner Exchange Ep. 1 (Milton)

I’ve decided to introduce a new segment, to the site. I have so many great conversations with so many great people. Some of them I know and some of them,  I meet randomly. With their permission, I wanted to bring you all a bit of those great exchanges. The first episode of “Foreigner Exchange” features my guy, Milton. It’s so great to be able to unwind and have fun little convos in the presence of wonderful folks. These people push me to use my brain at a higher frequency, understand things that I may never have thought about and, ultimately, help me to become a better person. I have a love for everyone and I wanted to give a little bit of that love back to the folks that are interested in my blog.

Here is the very first offering, from “Foreigner Exchange”.

 

 

Shoutout to Milton.

The Settlement

Press Play

Gabriel Garzon-Montano

“Keep On Running”

My father was never much of a figure in my youth, which was a shame, but I had other folks to look to, for that sort of patriarchal motivation. A lot of what I’ve carried forward, and what I have fashioned in my own image, originated from the blueprint that they presented to me. The way that I dress, the way that I speak, it all comes from somewhere. Later on, I took a liking to reading and really examining situations connected to comfort and the lack thereof, in order to understand social cues. From there, I realized that I was a bit different. Reason being that I hadn’t encountered anyone that focused, so much, on the minutiae, the way that I did/do. It became apparent, to me, that I couldn’t follow any established blueprints to get where I felt I needed to go, and the folks that had inspired me were always supporting my journey. All of a sudden, indiscernible to even me, there was a shift. I began making exactly what I thought were the right moves, in order to attain my success. There were failures, but I was always on the right path. The issue was that there was a sort of inversion in my relationships with those close to me, that supported. They were always fans but they went from “The Standards” to “The Admirers”. Something seemingly made them think that they needed to accept their realities, instead of daring to continue to forge a path through the unknown. I became the inspiration. When I realized that this was the reality, I was surprised. I’ve never taken issue with this. I am honored to be able to be that, for any and everyone that enjoys it, but to these very specific people, it makes me uneasy. Because they have resigned to what their lives are. Which, in and of itself, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Not even close. There is just so much that they are capable of. It hurts me immensely when I have to stand there and listen to them tell me “Do you know how it feels to know that you’re settling?” I took a second to think about it and, yeah, I do know what the feels like. I’ve done it twice. That day, when that rhetorical question was posed to me, all I could ask was “Is that really how you feel?”, to which the answer was “I feel that way because that’s what I’m doing.”. In that moment, I realized 2 things: I need to help get them where they need to be and if I can’t do that, myself, I need to continue to be an example.

That specific situation put a lot of things in perspective, for me. It just explained a lot of things that I felt but couldn’t properly associate, in my mind. One of the things that I couldn’t quite place my finger on was an occurrence during a pretty big transitional period in my life, a little while ago, and I had been in a true funk. I was trying to figure out how this whole thing happened and why this kind of thing happens to me. I simply wasn’t being myself. It came to a head, one day, and they actually started to show anger for the way that I was being. Many things have happened to me, in my life but they, very seldom, have ever demonstrated any frustration about my sadness. This was different for some reason. It was as if they were saying “You have a chance to do great things now! There’s nothing holding you back, anymore! Do what you’re supposed to do, now!” In this instance, I am paraphrasing, but those words had actually been said to me, on a different occasion. It was like watching a movie with two characters attempting to escape a terrible situation but one of them knows that only one can make it. So that one decides to do all he/she can to give the other the chance. I feel that I am the one that was fated to escape. I want to save them, though. And I believe that I can save them. Save them from simply allowing things to be, and going after that elusive success that comes only when a person puts themselves on the line. For them to have been an inspiration, to me, and for me to simply leave them behind while they struggle with what they should do, would be a sign that I didn’t truly value what had been given to me, regardless of if they had been aware that they had been giving it, or not. I am a leader, now. Responsibilities rest upon my shoulders and I have always been brave enough to carry them. The difference is that I have grown into the man that can actually carry them, now.

Stop. Chill. Relax.

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I, sometimes, think that we, as guys, need to chill. I won’t exclude myself from this. I have the opportunity to be in the vicinity of both sexes during my day-to-day and I will admit that Montreal has extremely beautiful women, but there needs to be some perspective acquired, and parameters established, here. I make it a habit to be aware of my surroundings, as much as I can be. In doing so, one of my favorite things to do is to spot an attractive person (Male or female) and observe the reactions of the people walking towards or driving past them. I do that because I find it interesting to see how little some folks can control themselves. I won’t speak too much on how women respond to seeing a handsome man, in this particular entry. I will talk about us. The men.

There is very rarely any acceptable reason for a man to ogle a woman as she enters his field of view, and then to maintain that unfortunate display until well after she exits it. I find that offensive and extremely unnecessary. No one has ever said that it is wrong to acknowledge the presence of someone that you believe is aesthetically pleasing, to you, but there have to be clear lines drawn. Too often, what I see us doing makes me just plain uncomfortable. And that’s just me, not even being really close to the situation. I simply couldn’t deal with that nonsense, if I were a woman. A friend of mine told me that, once, while she was in the train, a man pressed up against her from behind and refused to move, even though there was reasonably enough space for him to so. When I first heard that, I remembered being mortified. She continued on to say that she never yelled or screamed out because she was afraid of what might happen to her, at his hands. Very few men, again including myself, have ever had to think in that way which, I believe is a big part of why these types of behavioral patterns still exist. Some of us are truly hypocritical, in that sense. I hear, see, and generally experience men being overly protective of their sisters, mothers, and daughters, but as soon as the context has been modified, some of those morals, with regards to the “object of our infatuation”, are more loose and we, a lot of times, begin to objectify in ways that they would never condone. To be fair, a lot of these situations occur whilst the individual is completely unaware of his actions but, then again, other times, we’re in our right minds.Regardless, I still hold us accountable because I believe that it is imperative that we use our intellects at full capacity when these circumstances present themselves. These women are our friends, our co-workers, the people that, when interwoven within the fabric of our lives, make the tapestry that much richer. We need to remind ourselves of this. Always. My rule is this: If you see a beautiful person walking up to you, and you didn’t have to courage to say something to that person while they are in or around your milieu, forget it. Move on. Don’t stay there, gawking at them, as if you’re trying to undress them with your drool.

I know for a fact that I wouldn’t want any guy doing that to my mom. I know for a fact that I wouldn’t want anyone doing that to my sister. So I make it a point not to do that to any woman. I am aware that there are bigger things happening in the world, but I believe that, in continuing to be respectful in that way, I am making it easier for someone. At the very least. I have made my fair share of mistakes, with women. Whether it was saying something that shouldn’t have been said, or otherwise, I believe that I have been, and will continue to be, genuine in my attempts at atonement. This entry was not written with the intent to bash all men, because “all men” don’t do what I have been writing about. But a lot of us do and I just felt that I should present my thoughts on the subject. To all the respectful men, out there, I salute you.